Monday, January 26, 2015

Claire is broke

After church yesterday Claire broke her arm/wrist. 
I am going to blog about this whole ordeal in a later post. 
I am just so glad my 13 year old baby is OK!
(Bless your heart darling girl!)

Friday, January 23, 2015


"We must approach our Eternal Father with broken hearts and teachable minds.
 We must be willing to learn and to change. And, oh, how much we gain by
 committing to live the life our Heavenly Father intends for us."
I recently had a argument with someone I deeply love.
I was frustrated and mad.  I cried and was very hurt.
I stewed over the words which were spoken to me that day, and the pain 
I felt, and the more I thought, the more mad I became.
After hours of thinking up the best "comebacks" I was ready to confront
this person and lay it on...thick.
I went to this person to explain my thoughts and frustrations,
Just as I was about to let it rip, I felt something inside my heart.
 It was warm and soft and melted away all my pain.
I was able to convey my thoughts rationally and calmly.
 My heart was open to listen and understand.
Soon enough I realized I had totally been wrong on a lot of
 what I was sure I knew.
We had misread and mistreated one another because we both thought
we were right and knew best.

"... none of us likes to admit when we are drifting off the right course. 
Often we try to avoid looking deeply into our souls and confronting 
our weaknesses, limitations, and fears.
 Consequently, when we do examine our lives, we look through 
the filter of biases, excuses, and stories we tell ourselves in 
order to justify unworthy thoughts and actions".

I want to be teachable, I want to be the good change in all my relationships. 
I want to be the first to say sorry.
I know seeing myself with clear honest eyes IS essential and
 the first step in my personal and spiritual growth.  
But it all starts with my desire to change,
and I can do that.

Quotes from this post HERE

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Constant movement

The best thing for me and my health condition is constant movement.
So I make sure I hike each day.
I also constantly sweep my floors, and do the laundry.
I probably load the dishwasher four times daily,
 and wipe down the counters ten times daily.
But my favorite movement is mothering.
There is always someone to snuggle, a hand to hold,
 a storybook to read, a smile to see,
 a tear to wipe, a mouth to feed, a joke to hear, a story to tell, and so on and on.

In the burn center before I was discharged, my nurse went over
the daily physical therapy plan for me.  I was to go to the hospital
rehabilitation center and work for hours a day to get back the  
movement in my fingers, legs, arms, walk, and even my speech--
 pretty much everything needed therapy.
  I spent long hours at the center getting better, and one day I woke up and 
announced I was done.
While this therapy was healing me, I figured I could do all of these things 
just by engaging more in daily tasks at home--by being mom again.
I began simple chores like using my fingers to pick and
bag up baby carrots for the kids lunches.  
I unloaded the dishwasher sorting the utensils.
I practiced buttoning shirts (still working on that).
Even turning pages in books was a huge task (still is).
 I strengthened my muscles by lifting Nicholas, 
putting groceries away, and folding laundry.
It all came back and I believe it was because of my desire to be a mother.
I still struggle and hurt.  Daily tasks are still hard and frustrating.
I am still learning to be patient with myself and body.

But mostly I got better because I learned to love myself.
And when I loved myself, I loved my children and others more, 
and then my desire to serve 
my children and others was greater, and then I got better.

It's a pretty simple idea, not always so simple to master.
But possible.

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